Happy Birthday, My 2041-Self!

     

Versi Bahasa Indonesia dari tulisan ini dimuat di WarungSaTeKaMu.org dengan judul Selamat Ulang Tahun, Diriku di Tahun 2041.

Dear my future self,

Not long after sending the letter to our 2011 self, I got a new idea: If I could write to our past self, why can’t I write to you in the future?

So, happy 45th birthday! On this date, November 11, you have been living as a Christian for more than 30 years, the same as my biological age when I wrote this letter.

At first, I wasn’t sure what to say to you, my middle-aged self. Speculations about the years ahead filled my mind: Where will we live, work, and serve? Will we get married and have a family? How are our (extended) family? Will we still worship in the same church community? Will we become more eager to wait for Christ’s second coming, proclaiming His Gospel and working out His calling for us? How bad will climate change affect the world? What geopolitical changes will occur?

These thoughts naturally made me worried about the future. However, praise be to God, He provided us with a reflection days before we became like Cerberus (read: three-headed). His illumination was so true, beautiful, and vivid that I decided to immortalise it in this letter to you.

Back then, we were preparing our discipleship group materials that we adapted from Tim Keller’s 1 Corinthians 13 sermon series. If you recall, we had already completed it in several morning run sessions a few months before. However, because we chose it as the group material, we ended up meditating more on that chapter and Keller’s exposition on it. (Do you remember why we like Keller’s writings and sermons? Not only because he had the gift of teaching, but also because Christ is always glorified as the centre and entirety of his works.)

A sentence from Keller sums up what I wanted to say:

A Christian is somebody who has met Love, and Love has shattered them, then transformed them, and now empowers them.

   

My self, here is the journey that we have begun since we were born into this world.

We have met Love for as long as we can remember. Through the children’s Bible storybook Papa read to our brother and us before we slept. Through religion study lessons at school. Through the masses which Papa and Mama brought our family to. Through the love of our parents and brother, of our extended family, and of a few people we called “friends”. (Alas, we were not as sociable when we were little.) But we detested Love and even didn’t believe in Him. Why did He have to come and die on the cross to redeem us? Are we that bad and sinful? Why did those who claim to believe in Him not as He did? Why did they mock and bully us instead? Were we that different from them? Looking back, Love was shattering us from the outside. So we tried to follow other ways. We tried to do good. We became atheist/agnostic. To those who looked at us weirdly and disparagingly, we in turn looked down on them. We studied and tried as hard as we could. But what happened? We became a noisy gong and a clanging cymbal. Despite having gifts and knowing more than others, we are nothing. And all our efforts were worth nothing. We had neither hope nor peace (ironically, our name means “Son of divine peace”!) nor joy within us. Why? Because we did not have love.

“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”

When we realised it, we saw that Love was shattering us from the inside, too. Because, consciously or not, we kept demanding to be loved as we were supposed to, but we ourselves could not love others as we should.

At this point, a miracle happened: the shattering Love then also transformed us. How did He do it? When we saw the Love on the cross, His Spirit opened our eyes to see that He died not only for the sins of all creation, but also for our sins! His salvation work has not only cosmic consequences, but also personally transforms every person He predestined, whom He called, then justified, and glorified. He is the only Person who loves us perfectly as supposed to. So, the life we have been living since 15 years is one that Love empowers. We are no longer our own, but His who has redeemed us wholly with His blood. Every time we wake up, it is no longer we who rise, but the Love inside us. And we keep growing in Him; He keeps empowering us to love others like Him, as we are supposed to, and to become like Him. We would fail and return to our old ways (do you remember our boss’s rebuke recently?), but His Spirit will keep guiding us back to walk in His way.

“Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away. When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.”

I pray and trust that Love will use His Word in this letter to strengthen your faith and hope, my self: that as years are added to our age and we grow old, He is the same, yesterday, today, and forever.

Keep meeting Him, be shattered, be transformed, and be empowered by Him. For apart from Him, we can do nothing. The grace of Christ be with you until we meet Him with unveiled faces.

Soli Deo gloria, amen. Regards, Your 2026 Self